Kevin Vandever

It has been a really cool ride the last year on Twitter. I never would have guessed that I’d have so many engaging relationships resulting from multiple 140 character conversations. I entered Twitter to help promote a couple blog ideas and although it has helped in that endeavor, it turns out that I am spending way more time and having way more fun just building relationships for their own sake. So for my special edition of #followfriday, I bring you my Thanksgiving #thankfulthursday #tweetsgiving list in alphabetical order ’cause I’m diplomatic like that! There are some repeat #followfriday offenders, but since this is my year-end list, I included them again.

@angelica7641 – As surprised as I am that I have so many great Twitter friendships, I am even more surprised that a Steelers fan made the list. Our Twitter conversations range from football to corporate life to social media and recently to boxing when I found out that she is boxing fan and trainer. So from now on, I will only talk junk about the Steelers from a distance.

@champsuperstar – This girl ROCKS! I love her tweets. She lives in New Orleans (major points), is active in the community (major points) and is a fellow Jon Dee Graham fan (more points than I can count).

@debdobson – Deb is a Kansas City Chiefs and Royals fan. I didn’t know that they still existed. She takes a lot of abuse from us on Twitter and is a good sport about it.

@desireekoh13 – I have not met Desiree in real life (IRL), but my wife used to work with her and mentioned that I should reach out as she is a fellow writer. Ha, we may have talked about writing once, but since then you name it and we have probably tweeted each other about it. This women lives life to the fullest and I so look forward to meeting her IRL.

@foiledcupcakes – Mari is awesome. Simple. Great sense of humor, successful business woman, and she is interested in jazz. She writes a very cool blog that gives credit to others for their thoughts and ideas. I also look forward to meeting her IRL one day.

@geekwearsprada – Cyn is a fellow Red Sox fan and what sets her apart from others are her poetic, Red Sox shout-outs to a few of us each day during the baseball season. Red Sox baseball is no longer complete without her tweets.

@ginidietrich – Finally met IRL after many Twitter discussions on a variety of topics. Probably not much I can add about Gini that hasn’t already been said by so many – including me in a prior #followfriday post – but I like the challenge so let’s see…hmm. Oh yeah, I know at least two things about Gini that I am pretty sure no one else knows. And I’m not tellin! (Although I will listen to cash offers).

@jeffmello – is a fellow Red Sox fan and runs The Ulitmate Sports Calendar, a very cool web site where you can keep track of when your favorite teams play. He can also be found on Twitter many evenings blipping his favorite #mellotunes for our listening pleasure.

@jennifervides – As fun as they come. Knows college football as well as anyone I know (tied with @kerbehr) and she pays off her bets when she loses. I also know her IRL and consider her a good friend.

@julito77 – Fellow Red Sox fan and my Twitter trouble-making partner in crime. I met Julio IRL earlier this year and since then we have shared thoughts and stories on many subjects ranging from college days to parenthood and most everything in between. He is one cool dude and am I glad to call him my friend.

@justinthesouth – Another fellow Red Sox fan and one of nicest guys I know on Twitter. As I’ve said before about Justin, he is the first to sincerely ask about someone’s day, remember a project he or she is working on, and promote them in one form or another.

@katjaib – Sincere, witty, warm and a great writer. I really enjoy my tweets with Kat and can’t wait to read more of here writing. And no, my receiving one of her prestigious Katnip awards had nothing to do with her making this list. She was on a #followfriday list of mine earlier this year before I won that award. Just so I set the record straight.

@kerbehr – Kerri was my friend in real life (IRL) before Twitter, but we’ve taken and enjoyed the Twitter journey together. We have lots of fun, talk college football trash, and learn more about social media for our place of employment.

@kirstenwright – I met Kirsten earlier this year to discuss business ideas and opportunities. She is very smart, a talented graphic designer and writer, and she really understands the social networking world.

@nancymyrland – Nancy and I are fairly new Twitter friends, but I really enjoy our discussions. If I ask a poll question or put out one of my silly, cryptic tweets, Nancy is one of the first to answer or play along with my knuckleheadness (new word). Her warmth comes through in her tweets and that is a great trait to have, in my opinion.

@papijulio – I’ve broken bread with this man a couple of times when he’s visited the LA area. He’s kind, warm, engaging and full of wisdom.

@Pats4Me – Newest member to the #posse. She is still trying to figure out all the rules. (we don’t know all the rules either, we make ‘em up as we go). She lives life with passion and LOVES the Patriots.

@shandrab – One of my favorite people on Twitter. Shandra is smart, funny, and wicked sarcastic. We often tweet of Vikings and Unicorns and #geekout over video embedding, blogging platforms and our latest adventure learning to surf the Google Wave.

@simasays – I almost met Sima IRL. We were a few stages from each other at the New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival and later only a few bars from each other in the French Quarter. We weren’t able to make it work then, but some day we will catch some live music together.

@sloane – I met Sloane in New Orleans when she was down there with no other agenda than to get involved. And get involved she did. Now she’s moving down there and I am both envious of, and very happy for, her. She writes a great blog that is well worth the visit.

@uprisenuplift – One of my first Twitter friends, Cheryl is a very positive person and lives up to her profile name uprising and uplifting those around her.

@zoeyjordan – Zoey is another smart, funny, sarcastic biz partner twitter friend of mine. We live in the same state (that is California, not some mental state, although that may be true, too), but on opposite ends so I have yet to meet her IRL. One day, the fam and I are going to take her up on the invitation to head her way and go snowboarding and ibuprofen eating.

Happy Thanksgiving!

written by Kevin Vandever \\ tags: #followfriday, #thankfulthursday, #tweetsgiving

Have you noticed that we don’t say, “you’re welcome” anymore? Go ahead, check it out. Next time you say “thank you” to someone, listen to his or her response. Listen to your own response when someone thanks you. I bet that it won’t be “you’re welcome”. What happened to “you’re welcome”? Why don’t we use it anymore? I like it. It is warm and civilized. It is humble, yet inviting. It is just plain appropriate. “You’re welcome” is like peanut butter and honey. It works. The thank you/you’re welcome exchange produces smiles, promotes peace, and maintains harmony.

So, what is used instead of “you’re welcome”? The three most comment responses I hear are, “no problem”, “no worries”, and the one I understand the least, “thank you”. The intention of using “no problem” is not good. It says, “It’s cool that you are thanking me, but don’t think anything of it, you don’t have to thank me, be gone, it was no problem”. But where’s the warmth and civility? How is it humble or inviting to make the person who just thanked you feel inferior? It’s inappropriate, does not produce smiles, promote peace, nor maintain harmony. Instead, it leaves you dumbfounded and thinking, “No problem? Who said it was supposed to be a problem?” It is like peanut butter and mayonnaise. It doesn’t work. I feel the same away about the “no worries” response, but it gets a pass because it came over from Australia so it’s still kind of hip to use it. The strangest one to me is the “Thank You” response. What? Thank someone for thanking you? Are you supposed to then thank him or her back? Then what? More thanking? This is not as condescending and evil as “no problem” and not as hip as “no worries”, but it can’t be the smile, peace, and harmony machine that “you’re welcome” is because it is confusing and causes people to focus too much on how to end a conversation.

So, it’s simple really. If you like to smile and are peaceful and harmonious, you’ll use “you’re welcome”. If you aspire to smile more and long to be peaceful and harmonious, you’ll use “you’re welcome”. If you like peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches, think it’s cool to speak Australian, or like to confuse people, you will use one of the unacceptable responses. Don’t do that!

Bring back “You’re Welcome” and help to make the world a better place.

Thank you!

written by Kevin Vandever \\ tags: Manners, Thank you, You're welcome

I had a little scare last weekend that included a visit to urgent care. Things are fine now, but it was one of those oh-my-God-that-could-have-been-much-worse-so-now-I-had-better-take-stock-of-my-life-and-hug-my-kids-more-and-live-each-day-to-the-fullest-and-know-that-tomorrow-is-not-guaranteed-and-always-treat-others-with-respect-and-not-to-sweat-the-small-stuff-and-to-love-and-smile-to-the-max moments. The moment was made a little more interesting by the fact that my wife gave me some medication that jacked me up even more. She didn’t know, though, right? It was an accident, right? Those life insurance documents on the desk were there before the incident, weren’t they? Sorry, I digress.

Anyway, I am not writing to tell you about my experience with the goal that you will make the necessary changes in order to live a fuller, richer, and happier life. That is awesome if you do, but you don’t need me to do that. There are plenty of near-death or perceived near-death stories out there of folks seeing their lives flash before their eyes, floating towards the bright light before coming back to life on the hospital bed, or spending an all-nighter on Frenchmen street in New Orleans during jazz fest and still waking up in the morning. No, you don’t need another story like that for inspiration. (If you do, please let me know and I will be happy to be your tour guide to New Orleans.) What I want to do, however, is to turn this around to you, my much-appreciated reader, and ask: What was your wake-up call? What molded you, made you take a chance, make a change, see the light, get off the fence, etc? Was it one event or a series of events? Did you get up, hit snooze, or throw life’s alarm clock against the wall hoping to silence it? Have you not yet had that call? Or, do you feel like you don’t need it because your inspiration comes from within? No matter the case, I would love to hear from you. Take a moment and leave a comment to let me know.

Oh, and it turns out, after further investigation, that my wife was really trying to help and was acting in my best interest. Little did I know that my best interest meant my being comatose for a day or two while she attended the U2 concert and pre-concert tailgate party that weekend. It’s good to be loved.

What was your wake-up call?

written by Kevin Vandever \\ tags: Life, wakeup call