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Apr
01
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I’d like to propose a day to recognize and celebrate air travel in this country. We often overlook or take for granted this accessible luxury and I think it’s time to stop. We set aside special days to appreciate bosses, secretaries (sorry, admin assistants), mother, fathers, religious figures, Presidents and a civil rights leader, why can’t we set aside a day to appreciate air travel? I’d like to further propose that we deem April 1 as Air Travel Appreciation Day because of the perfect fit it has with the mischievous fun we already have on this day, April Fools Day. In fact, air travel is mischievous fun that just keeps on giving. When I fly, I feel a little like Bill Murray’s character in the movie, Groundhog Day, except that instead of waking up everyday to Groundhog Day again, I wake up to April Fools Day! I wait for the flight attendant to announce, just as we’re landing, “We know you have a choice in air travel so we thank you for flying so-and-so airlines. Oh, and by the way…APRIL FOOLS! Please see the extremely knowledgeable and helpful gate agent for on-time and accurate connection information, a checked baggage fee refund, your free and nutritious meal and the missing leg room that we keep removing then adding to a few rows near the front so we can charge a premium for selecting those seats. Our apologies for the cracked sternum that you may have experienced while you had your tray table down and the person ahead of you reclined his seat into your lap. The gate agent will have free-drink coupons and an ambulance ready to transport you to the nearest hospital. As you exit the aircraft, please notice we’ve replaced our rude, insensitive flight attendants with their pleasant and cooperative doubles. Say “hello” and give one a hug on your way out. Also, we promise to no longer refer to your trash as service items and will instead call what it is, garbage. If this is your final destination, have a wonderful day and when your plans once again call for air travel, please come back and see us again”
So you see, there is no better day to appreciate air travel in this country than on April 1, Happy Air Travel Appreciation Day! Book a flight today, but don’t fall for that classic April Fools prank the airlines like to pull where the gate agent tells you that you’re flight is canceled and there is no way to get you to your destination without an overnight stay in another city that is not even close to your desired arrival city and that you’ll have to spend the night on your dime because it’s not the airline’s fault that your flight was canceled and you’ll also do so without a change of clothes because although you are stuck being rerouted to another city, your luggage made it on a flight to somewhere else you didn’t plan on traveling. It’s a good prank and even more reason to appreciate and celebrate air travel on this day.
April 1st, 2010 at 3:19 pm
I love this post!!! And, you know that I hate air travel!!! Well, perhaps I mostly hate it for business travel, but I’m not always keen on it for personal as well.
Over the years, I have indeed found that the service has consistently degraded, the fees continue to rise, and nothing seems to ever go smoothly (and I don’t just mean “rough air”). So, I join you in recommending April 1st as “National Air Travel Appreciation Day”. Happy travels!!!
April 2nd, 2010 at 10:05 am
You have indeed hit on most of the high points of air travel. However, there are two additional facets of air travel that merit honorable mention. First is the TSA “experience.” That is where you spend time meticulously folding, rolling, and packing your garments so they might actually be borderline presentable when you have to wear them to the big business meeting in the destination city. The big April Fool’s joke here is how the TSA opens your suitcase, aparently flings it across the room and then repacks most of the items to look like a bomb went off in it. End result: When you finally do retrieve them from your suitcase, you discover that you look like you took your previously unlaundered clothes out of the bottom of the hamper, soaked them in water, then slept in them before dressing and going to your meeting. Thank you TSA.
Second, your tribute fails to acknowledge the extensive research and mathmatics that have evolved into what society has come to know as “air fares.” Einstein may have developed many impressive principles in the scientific world yet even HE was unable to theorize the rationale behind the formation of air fares. How can two people purchase tickets to sit in adjacent seats (sans leg room as duly noted in your blog) on the exact same aircraft yet, at any given time, one traveler may have paid three times the air fare of the other?
Nevertheless, I am definitely up for celebrating Air Travel Appreciation Day with you. Hopefully Hallmark is all over this and already developing some nice greeting cards in the spirit of the day.
April 12th, 2010 at 11:31 pm
Jim and Kerri, thanks for your awesome additions! Poor service, TSA, and the science (or lack thereof) of air fares bring even more cheer to this wonderful industry. I think this could be larger than Christmas, News Eve and Arbor Day all put together and think of the Hallmark possibilities. Brilliant!