Kevin Vandever

I’d like to propose a day to recognize and celebrate air travel in this country. We often overlook or take for granted this accessible luxury and I think it’s time to stop. We set aside special days to appreciate bosses, secretaries (sorry, admin assistants), mother, fathers, religious figures, Presidents and a civil rights leader, why can’t we set aside a day to appreciate air travel? I’d like to further propose that we deem April 1 as Air Travel Appreciation Day because of the perfect fit it has with the mischievous fun we already have on this day, April Fools Day. In fact, air travel is mischievous fun that just keeps on giving. When I fly, I feel a little like Bill Murray’s character in the movie, Groundhog Day, except that instead of waking up everyday to Groundhog Day again, I wake up to April Fools Day! I wait for the flight attendant to announce, just as we’re landing, “We know you have a choice in air travel so we thank you for flying so-and-so airlines. Oh, and by the way…APRIL FOOLS! Please see the extremely knowledgeable and helpful gate agent for on-time and accurate connection information, a checked baggage fee refund, your free and nutritious meal and the missing leg room that we keep removing then adding to a few rows near the front so we can charge a premium for selecting those seats. Our apologies for the cracked sternum that you may have experienced while you had your tray table down and the person ahead of you reclined his seat into your lap. The gate agent will have free-drink coupons and an ambulance ready to transport you to the nearest hospital. As you exit the aircraft, please notice we’ve replaced our rude, insensitive flight attendants with their pleasant and cooperative doubles. Say “hello” and give one a hug on your way out. Also, we promise to no longer refer to your trash as service items and will instead call what it is, garbage. If this is your final destination, have a wonderful day and when your plans once again call for air travel, please come back and see us again”

So you see, there is no better day to appreciate air travel in this country than on April 1, Happy Air Travel Appreciation Day! Book a flight today, but don’t fall for that classic April Fools prank the airlines like to pull where the gate agent tells you that you’re flight is canceled and there is no way to get you to your destination without an overnight stay in another city that is not even close to your desired arrival city and that you’ll have to spend the night on your dime because it’s not the airline’s fault that your flight was canceled and you’ll also do so without a change of clothes because although you are stuck being rerouted to another city, your luggage made it on a flight to somewhere else you didn’t plan on traveling. It’s a good prank and even more reason to appreciate and celebrate air travel on this day.

written by Kevin Vandever \\ tags: Air Travel Appreciation, April Fools Day, Bill Murray, Groundhog Day

Have you, or anyone you know, ever been offered something to eat or drink and decline with, “I can’t, I just brushed my teeth!”? I’ve heard this statement from more than one person in my life and I don’t understand the concept. Can’t? What do you mean, can’t? Is the tooth fairy going to suffocate you in your sleep if you eat after you brush your teeth? What if the food offered is really, really good or you just decide that you’re hungry again? You mean to tell me you CAN’T eat because you brushed your freakin’ teeth? I’m assuming that this is an evening only statement. I’ve never heard anyone utter it after the morning brushing, but still, come on! Even if you’re worried about what your dentist might think or what the tooth fairy will do to you in your sleep, you could, oh I don’t know, brush AGAIN!

I understand if you aren’t hungry or the food being offered isn’t all that good and therefore not worth the time it takes to re-brush for the evening, but if that is the case, state, “I won’t, I just brushed my teeth!” That makes it sound as if you’ve made a decision. Like you’re a take-charge person who has weighed the options and is now instructing the evil tempter to take his food and shove it! This, I can respect. This is the statement of a successful person. A leader of men…and maybe women. Someone who is not afraid to take a chance, but also knows when it is prudent not to do so. The use of “can’t” is weak and not only disrespects the food offerer but in a larger sense, defines you as a coward. As someone who lives in fear and who never questions anything, not even the tooth fairy.

So, go ahead and decline that divine dessert, but do so because you won’t, not because you can’t. When you figure that out, you’re on your way to the path of enlightenment and an enriched life. Me? I brush my teeth in the evening and then go right out into the kitchen and chew on a few sugar cubes and follow that with some popcorn and chunky peanut butter. Then I brush again. That is just the way I roll!

written by Kevin Vandever \\ tags: Life, Living, pet peeves, rant

Have you noticed that we don’t say, “you’re welcome” anymore? Go ahead, check it out. Next time you say “thank you” to someone, listen to his or her response. Listen to your own response when someone thanks you. I bet that it won’t be “you’re welcome”. What happened to “you’re welcome”? Why don’t we use it anymore? I like it. It is warm and civilized. It is humble, yet inviting. It is just plain appropriate. “You’re welcome” is like peanut butter and honey. It works. The thank you/you’re welcome exchange produces smiles, promotes peace, and maintains harmony.

So, what is used instead of “you’re welcome”? The three most comment responses I hear are, “no problem”, “no worries”, and the one I understand the least, “thank you”. The intention of using “no problem” is not good. It says, “It’s cool that you are thanking me, but don’t think anything of it, you don’t have to thank me, be gone, it was no problem”. But where’s the warmth and civility? How is it humble or inviting to make the person who just thanked you feel inferior? It’s inappropriate, does not produce smiles, promote peace, nor maintain harmony. Instead, it leaves you dumbfounded and thinking, “No problem? Who said it was supposed to be a problem?” It is like peanut butter and mayonnaise. It doesn’t work. I feel the same away about the “no worries” response, but it gets a pass because it came over from Australia so it’s still kind of hip to use it. The strangest one to me is the “Thank You” response. What? Thank someone for thanking you? Are you supposed to then thank him or her back? Then what? More thanking? This is not as condescending and evil as “no problem” and not as hip as “no worries”, but it can’t be the smile, peace, and harmony machine that “you’re welcome” is because it is confusing and causes people to focus too much on how to end a conversation.

So, it’s simple really. If you like to smile and are peaceful and harmonious, you’ll use “you’re welcome”. If you aspire to smile more and long to be peaceful and harmonious, you’ll use “you’re welcome”. If you like peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwiches, think it’s cool to speak Australian, or like to confuse people, you will use one of the unacceptable responses. Don’t do that!

Bring back “You’re Welcome” and help to make the world a better place.

Thank you!

written by Kevin Vandever \\ tags: Manners, Thank you, You're welcome

Here is a link to a column I wrote on the 1-year anniversary of the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001. I thought I’d share this with you because the words apply today as they did 7 years ago.

Shaking IT Up: The Proper Perspective

written by Kevin Vandever \\ tags: 9/11

This question was posed to me the other day: Who’s the Evil Empire?

My quick answer: The Yankees, their fans, their payrol, their stadium, their obnoxious owners, their uniforms, their announcers…damn, especially their horrific announcers “an a-bomb for A-Rod”…pathetic, Tex, Damon (traitor), Stray-Rod, Godzilla, Joba (whoa, second Star Wars reference), Posada (played with Ruth and Gehrig, I think), Wang (love making Wang jokes) and most of the rest of the players (I give Jeter and Rivera a pass because even as a Red Sox fan, I kind of respect them). Oh yeah, I can’t forget two of the Hall of Fame evil doers, Bucky effing Dent and Aaron effing Boone.

Hope this helps. Please help shape this answer so we can educate the world.

Go Sox!

written by Kevin Vandever \\ tags: Baseball, Evil Empire, Red Sox, Yankees

Remember the movie City Slickers? Billy Crystal plays Mitch Robbins, a 30-something husband and father who, in the midst of a midlife crisis, finds a renewed outlook when he and a couple buddies take a cattle driving vacation. There is one scene in the movie where Mitch and the rough and rugged cow hand, Curly Washburn (played brilliantly by Jack Palance), are riding in from the day’s cattle drive and engage in the following dialogue (warning: this clip contains one word of profanity) Curly and Mitch

Well, I would like you to think about it for a moment. What is your one thing? What is your purpose? Why do you do what you do? Don’t worry, I am not representing a specific religion, a social movement, or a PR firm. I am not a life coach, motivational speaker or self-help guru. There is no right or wrong answer, only that you think about the question. (No offense to those professions or beliefs and your one thing may be associated with one or more of them, but the question from me is not.) I ask because I wonder if we think about it enough. We are bombarded with the how tos. How to run a business, how to make more money, and how to be a better spouse, parent, friend, and employee. Yet, we are not asking why. My daughter and I sometimes play this game. It starts spontaneously when one of us asks the other to do something and continues like so:

Me: “You should study for that test?”
Daughter: “Why?”
Me: “So you can get a good grade”
Daughter: “Why?”
Me: “So you can get into a good college”
Daughter: “Why?”
Me: “So you have more opportunities”
Daughter: “Why?”
Me: “So you live a happy life”
Daughter: “Why?”

We go on and on until my wife or my other daughter begs us to stop. We should all be playing this game, although maybe not so annoyingly. Your one thing is the why. It is what should drive you to do what you do and, just as important, not do what you don’t need to. Your one thing will be your barometer, your guide, and motivator all in one. It will give you purpose, give life meaning, and provide a journey. It may end up changing very little, it may change much, but give your one thing a chance. It’s still OK to ask how, but don’t forget to ask why, and for the why to make any sense you need to be like Curly and find your one thing.

Another great scene from the movie that explains what might happen if you don’t find your one thing.

written by Kevin Vandever \\ tags: Looking Inward, Purpose, Your one thing