Kevin Vandever

Last week my Mother-in-law, Frances, took a call from her husband’s Uncle. The call went something like this:

Frances: “Hello!”
Uncle: “Hello Frances”
Frances: “Hi Uncle! How are you?”
Uncle: “Well, not so good. Aunt Jody, Tina’s Mother, just passed away from a brain tumor.”
Frances: “Oh my! That is horrible! When did this happen?”
Uncle: “Just now.”
Frances: “Ok, thanks for the information. Let me know the funeral details, etc…”

A few minutes later Uncle called again:

Frances: “Hello!”
Uncle: “Hi Frances, It’s me again. Jody is not dead. She is sleeping. The doctor misdiagnosed.”

For a few days, we weren’t really sure if Jody were sleeping or dead. Tina eventually called back saying that her mother was alive. We’re still not sure about the doctor.

written by Kevin Vandever \\ tags: Death, Humor, Life, Misdiagnosis, Oops

Have you, or anyone you know, ever been offered something to eat or drink and decline with, “I can’t, I just brushed my teeth!”? I’ve heard this statement from more than one person in my life and I don’t understand the concept. Can’t? What do you mean, can’t? Is the tooth fairy going to suffocate you in your sleep if you eat after you brush your teeth? What if the food offered is really, really good or you just decide that you’re hungry again? You mean to tell me you CAN’T eat because you brushed your freakin’ teeth? I’m assuming that this is an evening only statement. I’ve never heard anyone utter it after the morning brushing, but still, come on! Even if you’re worried about what your dentist might think or what the tooth fairy will do to you in your sleep, you could, oh I don’t know, brush AGAIN!

I understand if you aren’t hungry or the food being offered isn’t all that good and therefore not worth the time it takes to re-brush for the evening, but if that is the case, state, “I won’t, I just brushed my teeth!” That makes it sound as if you’ve made a decision. Like you’re a take-charge person who has weighed the options and is now instructing the evil tempter to take his food and shove it! This, I can respect. This is the statement of a successful person. A leader of men…and maybe women. Someone who is not afraid to take a chance, but also knows when it is prudent not to do so. The use of “can’t” is weak and not only disrespects the food offerer but in a larger sense, defines you as a coward. As someone who lives in fear and who never questions anything, not even the tooth fairy.

So, go ahead and decline that divine dessert, but do so because you won’t, not because you can’t. When you figure that out, you’re on your way to the path of enlightenment and an enriched life. Me? I brush my teeth in the evening and then go right out into the kitchen and chew on a few sugar cubes and follow that with some popcorn and chunky peanut butter. Then I brush again. That is just the way I roll!

written by Kevin Vandever \\ tags: Life, Living, pet peeves, rant

I had a little scare last weekend that included a visit to urgent care. Things are fine now, but it was one of those oh-my-God-that-could-have-been-much-worse-so-now-I-had-better-take-stock-of-my-life-and-hug-my-kids-more-and-live-each-day-to-the-fullest-and-know-that-tomorrow-is-not-guaranteed-and-always-treat-others-with-respect-and-not-to-sweat-the-small-stuff-and-to-love-and-smile-to-the-max moments. The moment was made a little more interesting by the fact that my wife gave me some medication that jacked me up even more. She didn’t know, though, right? It was an accident, right? Those life insurance documents on the desk were there before the incident, weren’t they? Sorry, I digress.

Anyway, I am not writing to tell you about my experience with the goal that you will make the necessary changes in order to live a fuller, richer, and happier life. That is awesome if you do, but you don’t need me to do that. There are plenty of near-death or perceived near-death stories out there of folks seeing their lives flash before their eyes, floating towards the bright light before coming back to life on the hospital bed, or spending an all-nighter on Frenchmen street in New Orleans during jazz fest and still waking up in the morning. No, you don’t need another story like that for inspiration. (If you do, please let me know and I will be happy to be your tour guide to New Orleans.) What I want to do, however, is to turn this around to you, my much-appreciated reader, and ask: What was your wake-up call? What molded you, made you take a chance, make a change, see the light, get off the fence, etc? Was it one event or a series of events? Did you get up, hit snooze, or throw life’s alarm clock against the wall hoping to silence it? Have you not yet had that call? Or, do you feel like you don’t need it because your inspiration comes from within? No matter the case, I would love to hear from you. Take a moment and leave a comment to let me know.

Oh, and it turns out, after further investigation, that my wife was really trying to help and was acting in my best interest. Little did I know that my best interest meant my being comatose for a day or two while she attended the U2 concert and pre-concert tailgate party that weekend. It’s good to be loved.

What was your wake-up call?

written by Kevin Vandever \\ tags: Life, wakeup call